Q. What did one frog say to another?
A. You're such a WART!
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What kind of whale flies?
Pilot whales.
What do you call a show full of lions?
The mane event.
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks.
For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect.
It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera.
"When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune."
Finally the day arrived.
Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate.
At the bar, he brought out his trick fly.
On cue, it started moonwalking.
"What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender.
In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe.
"Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Vote:
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby?
One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies.
Rape
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian.
He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed.
He asks the veterinarian:
Is my cat still alive?
Still not...
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.