What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
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What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want, he cant hear you.
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore?
A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse?
A: An Arab mechanic.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere.
Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him.
One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned.
"Finally, some company!" he thought.
While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
I have no I-Deer.
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.
What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
What are cows favorite party games?
MOO-sical chairs.
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator.
Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal.
I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside.
The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
If it works, everyone buys me drinks."
The crowd agrees.
The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth.
Gator closes mouth.
After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head.
The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks.
Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.
It's a woman.
"I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."