What do you call a poodle with no legs?
A sponge.
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What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He was the last of his race!
Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
Because they are both tail bearers.
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?
Roost beef.
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.”
The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.”
The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.”
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle.
For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.
The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle.
"Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks.
"When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied.
"Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe.
"Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.