What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment.
‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk.
‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’
‘The circus?’ says the dog.
‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested?
A: Charged With Battery.
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court!
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..."
The man shook his head.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?"
The man shook his head again angrily.
"Sorry... a worm?"
The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces.
"Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!