Joke #10051

What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"

A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. So, he said, "Look. Let's both get on top." At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo. I just gotta see this."

What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail.

What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.

Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.

This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten dollars." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?" The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."

Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.

Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"

Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."

Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!